25 lessons by 25
I turned twenty-five yesterday. I’m not usually one who celebrates my birthday, though I love celebrating my friends’ (Not a cynic! I just never cared enough). Maybe this blogpost is how I celebrate, in true tala fashion. I don’t trust myself enough to hand out unsolicited advice, but I believe I’ve picked up a great deal of insight through my early 20s:
Learning the difference between an actual difficult time and learned helplessness. When I am going through a hard period, I ask: am I self-victimizing (Bad things always happen to me!), or is this real hardship that deserves my grace?
Self-loathing is not humility. It is not depth, not earned suffering.
Exercising is the best replacement for antidepressants and yield almost the same effects.
No one is coming to save you. Yes, I have a network of friends who soften the edges of grueling times. But they're also busy surviving their own lives, and I've had learn how to pull myself out of my own depths.
At the same time, it’s never wrong to ask for a lending hand or a listening ear.
Asking for things, plainly. You’ll be surprised at how many people are willing to give you what you need and more. Most people want to help. We just never ask.
Always showing up to my creative projects regardless of the quality of the work – this is what consistency means to me. It’s not always giving it 100%; it’s showing up when I don’t want to.
Sometimes you need to get over yourself.
Blogging will save you.
Things will not always turn out the way you want them too. Learn acceptance (i.e. not to be confused with giving up)
Introspection & reflection are useless if not coupled with tangible action. Insight means nothing if you don't move.
Being multi-passionate is okay, and is, in fact, increasingly the point. You don't have to collapse yourself into a single expertise. The connections between your interests are often your most original territory.
You're not a fixed product of your past. You're in control of what story you carry forward, how you shape the next chapter.
Envy is a compass, not a character flaw. Whose work stops you mid-scroll? Who makes you feel that specific, electric mix of admiration & ache? That feeling is a map. Follow it.
I hate to admit that the wellness gurus were right. Making your bed everyday does set a different tone for the day!
Stop waiting for validation & permission from your family, friends, and the imagined audience in your head. No one is going to hand you a signed letter authorizing you to begin.
Dressing up, accessorizing, and choosing colors - it works. Ritual of adorning yourself is an act of self-respect.
Rest is not a reward for productivity. It is part of the work.
Some relationships aren't meant to last forever. Sometimes we cross paths with people to teach us a lesson.
You're allowed to change your opinion once you take in a new set of information. You contain multitudes; let them contradict each other sometimes.
Battling clinical depression is a skill you hone through trial and error.
Your interests from when you were 14 will save you (Attack on Titan, anyone?)
Read more fiction! A single novel will teach you more about being human than most self-help books ever could.
Sometimes unique opportunities will require initiative from your side first.
Leaving the house more! Never stay inside for three days straight! The world is grand and beautiful and waiting for you!
I was one of those people who was sure she wouldn’t make it past eighteen. I am still here, so I must be doing something right.