august plans (also a lot is changing)
During the start of each month, I like to create a masterlist of everything I would like to get done throughout that month. It was no different for August, but I noticed that my masterlist was lengthier than usual. There was a lot changing and a lot to be done.
For avid productivity gurus like me, what's more enticing than a long to-do list? It for sure garners an overwhelming surge of motivation.
For August, I want to populate my Bearblog further. I usually aim for at least 10 blogposts per month, but I am thinking of upping that number to 15 instead. Now that I am done with my internship, I have more free time than usual. I am also curious of how much I can push myself to produce more quality pieces that I would be proud of.
I also want to improve my dip pen skills, which I find heavily challenging, especially when trying to maintain the fluidity of the piece. But I learned to enjoy new challenges, because it means there is still room for more growth. Anyway, here is a sketchbook spread, extracted from my Moleskine:
I aim to plan out a fixed budget for each month, finish more engineering courses to boost my CV, and try to workout more! Exercise is important - it makes the mushiness and inattentiveness from my depression a bit more manageable.
Aforementioned, I finished my internship merely yesterday. It was an emotional farewell, one where I found myself deeply moved by the kind gestures and words of people I have spent the past year with. Though I tend to be more on the reserved side, I never realized how loved I was among others in my company. You left behind a huge impact, someone told me. You are one the most special people I have ever met. That made me feel so good, loved, seen.
I also finished packing for my new dorm. I packed my clothes, books, albums, notebooks. I tore off the sketches, to-do lists, and sticky notes I had hung on the wall, right up my desk. (Pro-tip: If you are a forgetful person like me, use sticky notes for reminder on your wall, so it will always be right in front of you). I felt oddly emotional. I bid farewell to the building I have stayed in for two years, for the roommate I spent the past 10 months with, for the mini market just right across the street, where I was always warmly greeted by an old man with a warm smile.
I start my final year in university in a month. I am so close to getting my engineering degree. Life in your early 20s flies by in the blink of an eye, like sand slipping from your hands, doesn't it?
You see, a lot is changing for me.
I always sought comfort in routine, in the stillness of life, in things not changing. I always tried to feverishly control every nook and cranny of my life so I can avoid any kind of any abrupt change. I dislike change, always had, but I am trying to confront my fears. Maybe it is me, maybe a side effect of my antidepressants, but perhaps I don't see my future so bleak and scary anymore. For once, I look forward for change.