january notes
January felt like a very long month, vastly due to the week-long pause we were given for exam preparation, the final exams themselves, and now my midterm break.
I started January with a bunch of classmates, where we had a small gathering by the sea to celebrate the new year. It was a chilly night, I recall. We were bundled up in hoodies, sipping on hot chocolate over a campfire. The surrounding opaqueness made the sky and ocean merge into one - it almost felt like we were the only people on Earth. At midnight, we watched fireworks blazing into a hundred different colors, lighting up the tapestry of velvety darkness surrounding us.
During the second week, I sat for my final exams for three (characteristically) arduous engineering subjects. For the substantial effort I exerted studying, I performed decent, aside from my Advanced Reaction Engineering final. That was to be expected, though, as the professor had a history of notoriously difficult exams. At least it's over, right?
If I were to sum up this break in one word, it would be community. I never imagined an introvert like me would seek pleasure in not only strengthening existing relationships but also in cultivating new connections. Yet, here I am, realizing that we, as humans, can grow and evolve in unexpected ways. I discovered that, random conversations, small but meaningful interactions with others, and even the quiet moments spent with friends, can be more fulfilling than I ever thought possible. It’s a reminder that change doesn’t always come in dramatic shifts. Sometimes it’s subtle, delicately woven into our everyday experiences.
Time spent by the sea, arcade games, bowling matches – I have been spending quality time with friends, and it has done wonders to my mental health. It aches me that, once we graduate, we will be seeing each others less. Few days ago, I also went on a fun date with a person I met by chance. Over coffee, we talked about our hobbies, career goals, education, as we watched the sunset together. I had an absolutely lovely time. I am also packing a handmade gift for one of my internet best friends, which I'll mail out tomorrow.
Writing-wise, I haven’t been making notable strides, neither on my personal journal nor on Bear. With my hectic schedule and graduation coming up, I am overlooking writing. I am thinking of aiming for a certain number of posts per month, instead of writing only when I feel like I have the time. If I am always busy, I might as well master the art of time management and allocate time to write. Should I aim for 5-8 posts per month? Still deciding (Note to self: look up SMART goals).
Along with my group members, I've also been working to pitch a research project for a local conference on the theme of Sustainable Waste Management. I am not excessively dwelling over having our idea accepted, because either way, I only targeted the conference as means to decorate my resume.
My mental health hasn’t been at its peak, unfortunately. Despite maintaining an eventful schedule, there is a stubborn emptiness that lingers around me like a dark cloud. In my last post, I discussed visiting my psychiatrist, along with my recovery progress, which has been quite the roller coaster. I am determined to improve by the end of February, especially with the dosage increase.
If you have made it this far, thank you as always. I hope to see you again in my February notes.