on right and wrong choices
I am pondering a life-changing decision of leaving the city I spent the past six years in. It was my first time living abroad, away from a complicated home dynamic and the feeling of being cornered. In here, I studied university on a full scholarship, interned at esteemed companies, and surrounded myself with good people. I build a version of adulthood here.
I grew emotionally tethered and never saw myself leaving. But sometimes, I think, it's necessary to set our emotions aside and acknowledge when we've arrived at a dead-end. Maybe I’ve completely extracted what I came here for. It's been hard to accept this. Even harder making a choice without being consumed by the fear that I'll destroy everything I built for myself.
Most of my decision-making process is tainted with a fear that I am going to make the wrong choice. That I'll look back years from now and wonder: what if I had stayed? For so long, I categorized my choices in rigid binary terms: right or wrong, success or failure. But life rarely unfolds in such neat dichotomies.
Most life choices we make are far more nuanced. They are not a moral judgement, about right or wrong. They are about direction and what I need to prioritize right now. It's easier said than believed, I know, especially when a decision feels irreversible. I believe every choice we take, eventually leads us to the life we are meant to live.
There's no way to navigate a life entirely free of regret. Who knows? Staying longer in this city could be meaningful, but so could leaving. Each path offers its own kind of transformation. I will gain something either way, and yes, I will inevitably lose something, too. But that is what choosing is: an act of prioritizing what matters the most right now, not a test of correct answer.
Too often, we are too afraid of making the "wrong" choice that we end up not doing anything at all. We stay in places we've outgrown. We mute that internal voice daring us to want more. but I don't want to live like that anymore, frozen by mere hypotheticals. I want to trust that whatever choice I make, I will meet myself there. I will adapt. I will build myself again. I have done it before, and I can do it again.