the second week of august
I've come to deeply appreciate the significance of friendships and community in my life. The more I grow, the more I realize the importance of nurturing connections with people who truly understand me, who appreciate my presence in their lives.
This week, I read Bluets by Maggie Nelson - a lyrical, philosophical essay of anguish, love, and loss, beautifully explored through Nelson's love of the color blue. This is how much I miss you talking. This is the deepest blue, talking, talking, always talking to you.
I also feel strongly compelled to share an alluring contention I read from Kafka on the Shore. In the book, one of the characters proposed that in ancient times, people weren’t just male or female, but one of three: male/male, male/female, or female/female. In other words, each person was composed of the components of two people, but then God cut everybody in half, down the middle. So the world was divided into male and female, and people spent their time searching for their other half. The notion profoundly stirred something in me. Perhaps that's why we feel lonely sometimes. We seek our other half.
Anyway, I've been making conscious effort to leave the house more. A cafe across the street, a bakery I have been meaning to try, an antique local store - I have been exploring, putting all my intentions to find the joy in the smallest of adventures (And this is proof that I am doing my very best to stay afloat, to stay alive.)
I also made substantial progress with my passion projects. As an all-round creative, it is the greatest of ebullience to produce and to ravish the process of doing so. Pure euphoria.
If you are still here, I recommend Highwayman by the The Highwaymen. It's the song I was listening to writing this blogpost.